"Be There" to Gather

"I had the best time,"  is what my mother, Bertha Bee (Leonard) McCauley, would say every time she came home from a family member funeral...and she attended lots of funerals, even when she had to take off work and fly to a different state.  Why?  She felt it was important to "be there"---not only to honor the person who died, but to support living loved ones. This included family members of her in-laws, even after my father died.   I can't remember for sure, but I believe she even attended funerals of family members she had never met in person.

My mother's mother, Bertha (Brasher) Leonard, died when my mother was only 9 months old.  Her father, Gerald Ray (Bud) Leonard, took her home to his mother, Annie Eliza (Luce) Leonard.  My mother ended up staying in that home and became the 15th child.  Her aunts and uncles became her brothers and sisters.  This many "siblings", plus the three half-sisters from her father's second marriage, meant lots of descendants.  Even though family members lived all over the country, my mom did her best to keep track of everyone and "be there" when she could be to give support. 

I remember one occasion when my mother went to visit and stay with my Uncle Tony Leonard in Stockton, California when he was very sick because he loved her rice pudding.  This was typical of my mother.

When my mother became older she not only reached out to her immediate family, but she started contacting extended Leonard family members...and then she would "be there" for them.  She loved collecting and gathering cousins. 

As if she now had not gathered an incredible number of family members, she also felt that she needed to get to know her Brasher family members.  She made trips to Huntington, Utah where many Brashers still lived and introduced herself to them.  They became part of her "be there" mission.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Gather

Sending holiday, birthday, and anniversary greetings is one way to keep the family gathered.  Although it is wonderful to receive Christmas greetings, especially when a family letter is included, birthday cards and greetings are specific to the receiver to celebrate him/her. 

My mother, Bertha Bee (Leonard) McCauley, was the "Happy Birthday Queen" in our family for years. This was before the internet.  Not only has the internet in our day made it easy to keep track of birthdays and other special occasions, it has also  made it inexpensive to send wishes.  My mom had her little book filled with names and dates, and she sent hard copy birthday cards that required stamps.  The expense was worth it to her...and to the recipients of her remembrance.

There are numerous ways to keep track of birthdays and other occasions.  Facebook users are alerted to FB friends celebrating a birthday that particular day.  I use this tool on a daily basis.  Yet, I also use "birthday alarm" so I can keep track of other occasions, such as anniversaries, and birthdays of those who are not on facebook.   This would include the young children in the family.  I am sure there are other companies that also provide this service.  I have used birthday alarm for quite a number of years and have been extremely pleased with the service, and it is relatively inexpensive.

So how do you find the dates you want to remember?  ASK! ...and then record it somewhere that is convenient for you.   When we have a new baby in the family, I add that baby to birthday alarm and to the family on "familysearch".  Also, when a family member mentions that he/she is celebrating an anniversary, I make note of that info on birthday alarm.

Adding an image to a Happy Birthday greeting on Facebook makes it more personal.  There are all kinds of fun happy birthday images to be found just by googling "happy birthday images".  We have a family FB group so I like to post my Happy Birthday greetings there so other family members can add a birthday wish, too.  If you want to wish someone a Happy Birthday who is not on FB but has a text number, you can send an image to him or her that way.  For these people, let others know they are celebrating a birthday as they might want to send a greeting, too.   

It is also extremely fun to celebrate the birthdays of ancestors and family members who are now on the other side of the veil.  Family search offers a service you can request to be alerted when it is the birthday or anniversary of an ancestor.  When I receive these alerts I share the info with our family FB group.

Although it is great to receive a birthday wish electronically, receiving one in the mail is extra special.  For children in the family I have decided to send a special birthday card and a tradition gift on certain birthdays.  For me it is at least 8th and 12th birthdays.

Over the last couple of years the word "gather" has started to intrigue me.  What does it mean?  It means to come together, assemble, accumulate and bring together from scattered places.  Some synonyms are congregate, unite, huddle, associate.  We can gather all kinds of things--people, books, recipes, friends, etc.  The main focus of this blog will be gathering people. There are many whys , whens, and hows.  I will share what I have learned and am learning about them.